Monday, October 22, 2012
Well, I just realised that it was on the 20th of October last year when I started my ramblings here on my blog. I missed its birthday by two days!
It's actually quite hard to believe that a whole year has passed already. It's been a year of sharing so many aspects of my life. It's been a year of me trying to explain about life with TN, even though that's meant moaning about my pain almost constantly, something which I actually hate to do. But it's also been a year when I've shared a bit of laughter, and, especially recently, some sadness and tears. I have also had the pleasure of getting to know some people who have read my blog. Some are fellow bloggers, some are also sufferers of TN or other painful conditions. I have enjoyed reading the comments people leave, and I guess I would be lying if I didn't admit that I do enjoy that feeling of knowing that people have actually been reading what I have written.
I have learned quite a lot over the last twelve months.....mainly that it is ok for me to moan and talk about my pain. I tended not to do that in the past. I tended to keep it in. But in actual fact, it has almost been like a relief getting it out. Kind of therapeutic, I suppose.
Yes, my life can be pretty horrible sometimes due to the pain, but, it is also pretty good too. So I can moan, but I can also laugh. Sometimes life can seem like a bit of an uphill struggle. But I always manage to get to the top of that hill. There may be another hill ahead, but I know I will get to the top of that one too. The good thing about it being a struggle is that it is always such a relief to get to the top. Now, imagine if life was all just plain sailing.........would there be the same enjoyment, the same sense of relief and achievement in reaching a destination?
So I will continue trying to smile my way through my life with all its hurdles, and I will contintue to ramble on about it here. I hope you will continue on that journey with me.....
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Sometimes there are just no words.......
We travelled about 400 miles down south for my niece’s funeral on the 28th of September. It was a beautiful celebration of her life and I was able to spend some special time with my sister. There weren’t a lot of words between the two of us, because there really aren’t any at a time like this, but there were lots of tears and lots of hugging.
Hugs just seem perfect when there are no words.
I’ve been trying to get back into writing my blog since then, but then I think, ‘how can I start writing about my life?’ Everything seems so unimportant in life in comparison to what my family has gone through recently. Everything seems so trivial in comparison to my sister losing her 27 year old, lovely, crazy, beautiful daughter. But all the trivial things do still go on. Even for my sister.
People have said to me in the past that they don’t know how I cope living with chronic pain. I have no option. I just have to get on with it. Sometimes people are strong because they have to be, sometimes there are just no options. Being strong and coping are the only options available.
Now I hear the question being asked about my sister. But she will cope. She is strong. She has to be. And I am so so proud of her.
I only wish there weren’t so many miles between us.
We may be many miles apart
But we will always be close at heart
As I hold you in my thoughts each day
Wishing I could help in some small way
To hold your hand to help you through
And show how much I think of you
If only I could take away the pain
The way the sun can dry the rain
If only words could take away
The pain you feel every day