Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Saturday, April 02, 2016

Your Life, Your Choice

Since April is "Your Life, Your Choice" month, I felt the need to write a wee blog post about it. Actually, I didn't feel the need at all.....I chose to write it. (Big difference!)

We all go through life making choices. What time to set the alarm? Breakfast or no breakfast? Tea or coffee? Chocolate or......chocolate? Sometimes the choices are simple. Some choices might be easier to make than others.

My Mum used to tell me that I had a good attitude to life. She said that no matter what life gave me, I always tried to smile and just get on with life.

I turned fifty last month (not really by choice๐Ÿ˜ฎ), but I can look back on my life and I realise that my Mum was right. I do have a good attitude and I am quite proud to admit that.

I try to find the positives in everything. When I find only negative, I try my hardest to turn it around. I try to find something to feel happy about. Something to make me smile. Something....anything which can make a difficult situation a wee bit better. And there is always something.

☔️ Caught in the rain on way to the car - thankful we have a car.
๐Ÿ“Not a single bit of chocolate in the house - but I have fruit!
๐ŸŒŽ Can't afford to go on holiday - have you seen the views from my house?

Obviously those are trivial examples, but they are real examples. For me, it seems natural to find positives. But I know it's not the same for everyone. However, it is believed that people have the power to choose whether to live with negativity or positivity.

It has long been established that positive thinking can lead to a happier, more contented life. For people living with a chronic illness of any kind, it is believed that a positive outlook can also help them to cope with and manage their illness.

I would say that in my case, that is definitely true.

When faced with daily health issues and chronic pain, I personally believe that 'choosing' positivity is so important.

I wake up in the morning and don't know if my back will cope with getting out of bed. My husband has to help me with some of my clothes, because I can't manage myself. Am I going to be able to make myself a cup of tea, or do I need to rely on my husband to do that too. My face hurts the minute I wake up. I don't know if the pain from it will stay at that level, or if it will get worse throughout the day. Will I struggle with food? Will I be able to clean my teeth? Will I need to spend most of the day in bed because of pain in some part of my body?

I could easily wake up in the morning and think about those things and be slowly dragged down into a deep black hole. But I don't want to be in that hole and I don't have to go into it. I have a choice.

Instead, I choose to be grateful. I choose to be optimistic. I choose to smile. I choose to be happy. It's my life and I choose to focus on positivity. 

I wake up and say, thank goodness I have a rail by my bed to help me get up; I'm glad my understanding husband is here to help me throughout the day; I enjoy porridge, soup, pasta and other soft food which is easier to eat; I have a dog who laughs as he bounces through to see me when he decides I've stayed in bed too long; a cat who seems to sense when I'm having a bad day and sits by my side.

Do those things take away my pain? No, of course they don't. But those kind of things help me cope with my problems. My life's not a bed of roses, but those positive thoughts help to put a smile on my face and get on with life, just as my Mum used to say.

Everyone has choices in life and there are always positives to be found.

It's up to us to find them.


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Good Pain

Friday, March 22, 2013

Cherishing Memories

Today would have been my Mum and Dad’s 55th anniversary.

In 2008 we celebrated their Golden Wedding, and to be honest, I don’t think it crossed my mind at that point that they wouldn’t be around forever. Sadly, cancer of the kidney took my Mum in December of the following year. 

But on their Golden wedding we had a party, just a small family gathering, and we all had a great day. And that is what I will remember every 22nd of March.

 We had done a fair bit of planning in advance, which wasn’t always easy. I think my Mum and Dad developed radars at that time, which told them when my sister and I were either making plans, or trying to get information or photos without their knowledge.

We managed though.

One of the things we did was make a photo book, called “50 Golden Moments”, in which we listed fifty special memories. Some were happy, some emotional and some were probably just plain silly. Mum and Dad loved their book and Mum showed it to everybody.

When she went into hospital the following year after becoming ill, she asked for her book to be brought in, so she could show the nurses and other patients.

Fifty years together is pretty special anyway, but my Mum and Dad had something special between them. Everything they did, they did for each other and the three of us. I really do consider myself so very lucky.

It’s impossible to put a whole fifty years worth of memories into a book, but it is possible to cherish every memory. And that’s what I do now......I cherish every single memory.

Sunday, September 16, 2012


Over the last ten days, all of our lives have changed so much. The loss of a loved one is so difficult, but when that loved one is young, it just seems so much worse. But it is frightening how quickly life can change.

Thankfully, we had nothing left unsaid, but I think due to the suddenness, it has made me think a lot. We can't always take life for granted. Sorry if it seems depressing......



Take a moment and think of this
There may be no tomorrow
But today something could be done
Meaning much less sorrow

Don’t let things be left unsaid
Don’t let distance grow
Sometimes all it takes is a call
Just to say hello

Take a minute and do those things
To save yourself some sorrow
Do it now. Do it today
For there may be no tomorrow

Monday, September 10, 2012


Back in February, I wrote a blog post about how lucky I was to have nieces and nephews. About how much I love them. About how much they make me laugh. I talked mainly about one niece in particular. I called her my crazy niece.........

crazy, but nice crazy.

Today I can’t put into words what I feel. Sadness just doesn’t cover it. We no longer have my beautiful, loving, crazy niece.

I was Heather's Godmother and from a young age, she called me her Fairy Godmother. I called her my Fairy Goddaughter as well as my crazy niece. I loved her so, so much and I just can’t get my head around the fact that I will never see her again.

This pain is worse than any physical pain I could ever suffer.

My poor sister and my other nieces. My pain is bad but I can’t begin to imagine what their pain must be like.

All we have now are memories. And she gave us so many beautiful memories. I can see her face and hear her voice. I can even hear her singing those Abba songs with that voice of hers. I can hear her laugh. I hope those memories never fade. She was such good fun and her heart was just so full of love. She was a special girl.

When I wrote that blog post in February, Heather read it, then wrote a comment under it in the form of a poem. I will treasure those words that she wrote. When I read it at the time, it made me laugh and cry at the same time. Today, I read it and I just cried.

Part of it I think is appropriate for the whole family right now. She said :-

How lucky I am to have a family like you,
my mum and her sisters are the best
as mine are too. 

We were the lucky ones Heather.  We were so, so lucky to have you in our lives. We all love you and will miss you forever. 

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day here in the UK today.

Another one of those days for people who no longer have their Mums to sit and think, "I wish....."

Well, actually, it doesn't take Mother's Day to make me wish that my Mum was still here. That happens every day and I don't suppose I'll ever stop feeling like that. I loved her so much and I miss her so much.

But I still consider myself so lucky that I did have my Mum for so long. I was in my early forties when I lost her....not everyone has their Mum for as long as that. So I look back and I appreciate every moment I had with her.

She was very special and I was very lucky.

I still am lucky.....I have been married to Ian for nearly twenty years. After I had been going out with him for a wee while, he took me to meet his Mum for the first time. I was a bit nervous, but when I met her, I found I had no reason to be nervous. I just felt relaxed in her company. Ian and I got married, she became my mother-in-law, and the bond between us has grown so much over the last twenty years.

She has always been there offering help. An ear to listen to me, and a shoulder to lean on any time I've needed it.

I remember being in Ian's Mum and Dad's house on the morning before we took my Mum to the Beatson Hospital in Glasgow to see the cancer specialist. We were trying not to expect a miracle, but we still really hoped for one. I stood on the doorstep before leaving their house, and Ian's Mum gave me a hug, which I will never, ever forget.

Being in her arms,  I felt like I was in the safest place in the world that day. She was trying to hold back her own tears and she told me to go and be strong for my Mum. And I did try my hardest to be strong for my Mum that day, and over the following few weeks. But at that moment, that morning, I just wanted to stay in her arms forever.

She is very special and Ian and I are both so lucky. We both love her so much.

Nobody can ever replace my Mum. But nobody could ever replace Ian's Mum either.

Mums are extra special friends
Who are always there for you
They are there during the good times
And the not so good ones too
They are proud of your achievements
And hold your hand if you are shy
They laugh when you are laughing
And hold you close while you cry

Mums are extra special gifts
And I am so lucky to have been given you
Because I couldn’t have had better
And I know for sure that's true

So.......back to Mother's Day.......a day when people are meant to show their love and appreciation to their Mums. But in my mind, people shouldn't need a special day on the calendar to show that.

That should happen all the time.