Holidays, I think, are a thing of the past for me. It’s not the actual holiday which is the problem.....just the getting there.
I remember one time going on holiday, many, many years ago, I was getting airport assistance. At the British airports, that meant a wheelchair with someone to push it. In Amsterdam, where I had to change flights, it meant going aboard an electric buggy and a woman driving at a great speed. I had to say goodbye to my family, and I could only hope that I was deposited in the correct departure lounge to meet up with them again. The woman who was driving looked at me, and told me I looked good. It was one of those looks that said that she thought I looked too well to be needing airport assistance. I actually thanked her for telling me I looked good and left it at that....she didn’t need to know why I needed airport assistance. She only had to get me to the correct departure lounge.
Actually, I felt lucky, in fact, privileged to be starting my holiday on one of my better days. It could have been the opposite, so I was grateful to be looking good.
Obviously I needed airport assistance due to my back and my inability to walk about two miles across Amsterdam airport. Assistance wouldn’t have been given for my Trigeminal Neuralgia, since obviously I don’t walk using my face. (Although sometimes it feels like somebody is walking ON my face!)
But people do look at you sometimes and question whether you are really ‘sick’ or have a disability. People can often see that my back is painful by the way I am walking. But when it comes to my face.....nothing shows. Nothing at all. And considering the pain, I wish people could sometimes see it. It must be hard for people to understand how much pain someone can be in when they cannot see anything. I know all my family and friends try to understand it, but other people really can’t get it.
It’s like you break your arm, you have a plaster.
You get a bad cut, you get stitches.
Even if you have the flu, people can see that.
But Trigeminal Neuralgia and other invisible illnesses don’t have anything to show for themselves. So sometimes people can look at us and tell us we are looking well. Other than walking about with an axe through my head, and a drill in my teeth, nobody would know that I have any form of facial pain.
But you know what.......even though I might be feel absolutely lousy inside, it is still nice to be told you’re looking good. Especially at my age!!! Though I guess that's nice at any age.
Anyway, enough writing for today.
Off to take in some more sun.