Friday, February 21, 2014
A chronic pain patient has to learn ways of coping. It can become an emotional battleground, fighting against feelings of fear, anxiety, depression and even guilt. They have to find ways of relaxing and trying to clear their mind from the pain which can so easily take over their life. They have to find a way of keeping their identity so they do not become lost to their pain. Their pain must only be part of them - it cannot be allowed to take over.
The same applies for people living with someone else's chronic pain. Whether they are the patient's partner, parent, child or friend, their life can also be tiring, frightening and frustrating. In some ways, perhaps more so. They can get tired of watching the person they love struggle, frightened of the future, frightened of never seeing that person be free of pain. The frustration and guilt at times must be overwhelming, because they can do little, or sometimes nothing, to make that person's life easier. It can be soul destroying for someone seeing a loved one in constant pain.
They also have to find ways of coping and relaxing so that they can also clear their mind of the pain. It is possibly even more important that they do this, so that they can continue to support the person they love.
Living with pain is certainly not easy....but living with someone else's pain is possibly even more difficult.
I have always been lucky. I think there is something in my genes which makes me just accept my pain for what it is, and cope with it as best I can. Maybe because I have grown up with pain, I simply don't know anything different, so I can just accept it more easily than some people who have had a normal life, then suddenly develop a chronic illness or condition. They then have a huge adjustment to make and have to learn to deal with that along with physical and emotional problems associated with their condition.
When I look at my life, I try not to focus on the negative parts. That would drag me down....and I can't let that happen. In fact, I think I try to take the negatives and turn them into something positive. Most of my blog posts are about my face pain, which is an extremely negative aspect of my life, so it could be said that I focus on that too much.....but my reason for focussing on that is to bring much needed awareness about Trigeminal Neuralgia. This helps myself as well as other people with the condition. That is my way of turning something very negative into something positive.
So my pain may be negative, but if I can take something positive from it, it helps me to deal with it.
I also look around me every day and find reasons to smile, and there are always plenty of reasons. I smile because I love where I live. I smile because I love that crazy guy I am married to. I smile because my family mean so much to me. I smile because my eight year old fox-red labrador still tries to climb up beside me for a cuddle. I smile when the cat talks to me (she does....she really does!)
I smile because I have started drawing again. I smiled because Ian made a pot of chicken soup this afternoon and it is delicious. There was a glimpse of sunshine and blue sky while I was out shopping...that made me smile thinking that Spring is somewhere just around the corner. Then on the way home, I saw the snow on the hills......that made me smile too because they just look beautiful covered in snow.
There is always something to smile about.
My life can be tiring, frightening and frustrating, but finding things to smile about, I think, is my coping mechanism. That is what helps get me through life.
Everybody living with pain (whether their own, or someone else's) has to find their own coping mechanism.
Finding it is the hard part, but once found, life can become so much easier.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
And it wasn't used in Scrabble.
No, quite simply, it's me. I am a jinx.
Well, I had a few better days since my last med increase. My GP increased my Tegretol, and prescribed it in the slow release form. After a couple of weeks, I felt a difference. In fact, I was starting to feel like I could get my life back. I had less pain in my face and it felt so good. I even managed to do some drawing a few days ago. The pain hadn't gone, I don't expect it ever to do that, but it was better.
My only problem......I actually had the audacity to tell people.
I wanted to share it. I wanted to share it with people who care about me. I wanted to share it with people with the same problem, in the hope that maybe my combination of meds could help them.
Of course, after telling people, the pain has come back with a vengeance.
I suppose it's just like saying that we are having lovely weather, then we get rain the next day.
I just hope that this little nasty spell is just a little glitch, and I'll get my good days back. Please.....I did enjoy them. I didn't abuse it. I didn't go out in the cold or anything like that. I didn't eat ice-cream.
But, hey, it was nice while it lasted!
It was good, a few days with a bit less pain
But maybe I should have used my brain
But instead, I was happy, and wanted to share
So I told some people, the ones who care
It's happened before, so I should know better
But, no....I had to spell it out, letter by letter
Like I said, I was happy, and I wanted to share
Then it comes back like a punishment....it's so unfair!
I shouldn't have said anything, that's what hubby thinks
And I have to agree.......I am a JINX