Showing posts with label pets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pets. Show all posts

Friday, February 21, 2014

Coping Mechanisms

When living with chronic pain, life can by tiring, frightening and frustrating.

A chronic pain patient has to learn ways of coping. It can become an emotional battleground, fighting against feelings of fear, anxiety, depression and even guilt. They have to find ways of relaxing and trying to clear their mind from the pain which can so easily take over their life. They have to find a way of keeping their identity so they do not become lost to their pain. Their pain must only be part of them - it cannot be allowed to take over.

The same applies for people living with someone else's chronic pain. Whether they are the patient's partner, parent, child or friend, their life can also be tiring, frightening and frustrating. In some ways, perhaps more so. They can get tired of watching the person they love struggle, frightened of the future, frightened of never seeing that person be free of pain. The frustration and guilt at times must be overwhelming, because they can do little, or sometimes nothing, to make that person's life easier.  It can be soul destroying for someone seeing a loved one in constant pain.

They also have to find ways of coping and relaxing so that they can also clear their mind of the pain. It is possibly even more important that they do this, so that they can continue to support the person they love.

Living with pain is certainly not easy....but living with someone else's pain is possibly even more difficult.





I have always been lucky. I think there is something in my genes which makes me just accept my pain for what it is, and cope with it as best I can. Maybe because I have grown up with pain, I simply don't know anything different, so I can just accept it more easily than some people who have had a normal life, then suddenly develop a chronic illness or condition. They then have a huge adjustment to make and have to learn to deal with that along with physical and emotional problems associated with their condition.

When I look at my life, I try not to focus on the negative parts. That would drag me down....and I can't let that happen. In fact, I think I try to take the negatives and turn them into something positive. Most of my blog posts are about my face pain, which is an extremely negative aspect of my life, so it could be said that I focus on that too much.....but my reason for focussing on that is to bring much needed awareness about Trigeminal Neuralgia. This helps myself as well as other people with the condition. That is my way of turning something very negative into something positive.

So my pain may be negative, but if I can take something positive from it, it helps me to deal with it.

I also look around me every day and find reasons to smile, and there are always plenty of reasons. I smile because I love where I live. I smile because I love that crazy guy I am married to. I smile because my family mean so much to me. I smile because my eight year old fox-red labrador still tries to climb up beside me for a cuddle. I smile when the cat talks to me (she does....she really does!)

I smile because I have started drawing again. I smiled because Ian made a pot of chicken soup this afternoon and it is delicious. There was a glimpse of sunshine and blue sky while I was out shopping...that made me smile thinking that Spring is somewhere just around the corner. Then on the way home, I saw the snow on the hills......that made me smile too because they just look beautiful covered in snow.

There is always something to smile about.

My life can be tiring, frightening and frustrating, but finding things to smile about, I think, is my coping mechanism. That is what helps get me through life.

Everybody living with pain (whether their own, or someone else's) has to find their own coping mechanism.

Finding it is the hard part, but once found, life can become so much easier.



Saturday, September 01, 2012

Talk To The Animals

Having a bit of an off day today. One of those bad side effect days. The people who take all those meds will understand what that means. But I am trying hard to ignore it.

I’ve actually had a poorly husband for the last couple of weeks as he is recovering from an operation. This has meant that I’ve looked after him more than the other way around, as is normally the case. Although, he possibly makes a better job of looking after me.

It  has also meant that I have had to feed the hens. And they must like me, as they are giving me plenty of eggs every day. My feathered friends are at the door waiting for me every evening now. And I swear one of them is saying “Hello” to me. Ok, so maybe she doesn’t actually say hello, but I say hello to them, then one of them makes a noise in return which sounds just like my hello.


So now you all think I have finally flipped. I have lost the plot. Gone crazy. “The meds have finally got to her........”

Actually, no, I think I went crazy many years ago. Think it was when I was young. If a cat came into our garden, I would maiow to it, and it would maiow back to me. I didn’t have a clue what it was saying, but it seemed to understand me.


Of course, I have a cat of my own now, and yes, she also talks to me. But she doesn’t just maiow. She has several words in her vocabulary. “Hello” and “Thank you” are just a couple of them. And I’m sure she uses a few expletives when I let her in if she has been outside in the rain.

She also tells me if she has caught a mouse or some other delicacy. I can hear her talking about it a mile off. She always brings her food home to eat outside the door. Actually, I think she would really like to bring it in to the house as a gift for me, but I’m not too keen on mice.


I can hear her coming running up to the house making all sorts of strange noises. People have asked me how I know that noise means she is bringing something home to eat. I reply that she sounds as though she is talking with her mouth full.


So there you have it.....hens that say hello, a cat that talks and just don’t let me get started on what the dog is capable of doing!!