Showing posts with label positive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive. Show all posts

Saturday, April 02, 2016

Your Life, Your Choice

Since April is "Your Life, Your Choice" month, I felt the need to write a wee blog post about it. Actually, I didn't feel the need at all.....I chose to write it. (Big difference!)

We all go through life making choices. What time to set the alarm? Breakfast or no breakfast? Tea or coffee? Chocolate or......chocolate? Sometimes the choices are simple. Some choices might be easier to make than others.

My Mum used to tell me that I had a good attitude to life. She said that no matter what life gave me, I always tried to smile and just get on with life.

I turned fifty last month (not really by choice๐Ÿ˜ฎ), but I can look back on my life and I realise that my Mum was right. I do have a good attitude and I am quite proud to admit that.

I try to find the positives in everything. When I find only negative, I try my hardest to turn it around. I try to find something to feel happy about. Something to make me smile. Something....anything which can make a difficult situation a wee bit better. And there is always something.

☔️ Caught in the rain on way to the car - thankful we have a car.
๐Ÿ“Not a single bit of chocolate in the house - but I have fruit!
๐ŸŒŽ Can't afford to go on holiday - have you seen the views from my house?

Obviously those are trivial examples, but they are real examples. For me, it seems natural to find positives. But I know it's not the same for everyone. However, it is believed that people have the power to choose whether to live with negativity or positivity.

It has long been established that positive thinking can lead to a happier, more contented life. For people living with a chronic illness of any kind, it is believed that a positive outlook can also help them to cope with and manage their illness.

I would say that in my case, that is definitely true.

When faced with daily health issues and chronic pain, I personally believe that 'choosing' positivity is so important.

I wake up in the morning and don't know if my back will cope with getting out of bed. My husband has to help me with some of my clothes, because I can't manage myself. Am I going to be able to make myself a cup of tea, or do I need to rely on my husband to do that too. My face hurts the minute I wake up. I don't know if the pain from it will stay at that level, or if it will get worse throughout the day. Will I struggle with food? Will I be able to clean my teeth? Will I need to spend most of the day in bed because of pain in some part of my body?

I could easily wake up in the morning and think about those things and be slowly dragged down into a deep black hole. But I don't want to be in that hole and I don't have to go into it. I have a choice.

Instead, I choose to be grateful. I choose to be optimistic. I choose to smile. I choose to be happy. It's my life and I choose to focus on positivity. 


I wake up and say, thank goodness I have a rail by my bed to help me get up; I'm glad my understanding husband is here to help me throughout the day; I enjoy porridge, soup, pasta and other soft food which is easier to eat; I have a dog who laughs as he bounces through to see me when he decides I've stayed in bed too long; a cat who seems to sense when I'm having a bad day and sits by my side.

Do those things take away my pain? No, of course they don't. But those kind of things help me cope with my problems. My life's not a bed of roses, but those positive thoughts help to put a smile on my face and get on with life, just as my Mum used to say.

Everyone has choices in life and there are always positives to be found.

It's up to us to find them.

#YourLifeYourChoice





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Good Pain

Friday, February 21, 2014

Coping Mechanisms

When living with chronic pain, life can by tiring, frightening and frustrating.

A chronic pain patient has to learn ways of coping. It can become an emotional battleground, fighting against feelings of fear, anxiety, depression and even guilt. They have to find ways of relaxing and trying to clear their mind from the pain which can so easily take over their life. They have to find a way of keeping their identity so they do not become lost to their pain. Their pain must only be part of them - it cannot be allowed to take over.

The same applies for people living with someone else's chronic pain. Whether they are the patient's partner, parent, child or friend, their life can also be tiring, frightening and frustrating. In some ways, perhaps more so. They can get tired of watching the person they love struggle, frightened of the future, frightened of never seeing that person be free of pain. The frustration and guilt at times must be overwhelming, because they can do little, or sometimes nothing, to make that person's life easier.  It can be soul destroying for someone seeing a loved one in constant pain.

They also have to find ways of coping and relaxing so that they can also clear their mind of the pain. It is possibly even more important that they do this, so that they can continue to support the person they love.

Living with pain is certainly not easy....but living with someone else's pain is possibly even more difficult.





I have always been lucky. I think there is something in my genes which makes me just accept my pain for what it is, and cope with it as best I can. Maybe because I have grown up with pain, I simply don't know anything different, so I can just accept it more easily than some people who have had a normal life, then suddenly develop a chronic illness or condition. They then have a huge adjustment to make and have to learn to deal with that along with physical and emotional problems associated with their condition.

When I look at my life, I try not to focus on the negative parts. That would drag me down....and I can't let that happen. In fact, I think I try to take the negatives and turn them into something positive. Most of my blog posts are about my face pain, which is an extremely negative aspect of my life, so it could be said that I focus on that too much.....but my reason for focussing on that is to bring much needed awareness about Trigeminal Neuralgia. This helps myself as well as other people with the condition. That is my way of turning something very negative into something positive.

So my pain may be negative, but if I can take something positive from it, it helps me to deal with it.

I also look around me every day and find reasons to smile, and there are always plenty of reasons. I smile because I love where I live. I smile because I love that crazy guy I am married to. I smile because my family mean so much to me. I smile because my eight year old fox-red labrador still tries to climb up beside me for a cuddle. I smile when the cat talks to me (she does....she really does!)

I smile because I have started drawing again. I smiled because Ian made a pot of chicken soup this afternoon and it is delicious. There was a glimpse of sunshine and blue sky while I was out shopping...that made me smile thinking that Spring is somewhere just around the corner. Then on the way home, I saw the snow on the hills......that made me smile too because they just look beautiful covered in snow.

There is always something to smile about.

My life can be tiring, frightening and frustrating, but finding things to smile about, I think, is my coping mechanism. That is what helps get me through life.

Everybody living with pain (whether their own, or someone else's) has to find their own coping mechanism.

Finding it is the hard part, but once found, life can become so much easier.



Friday, June 14, 2013

It's All About Awareness

I wish I didn't have pain.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

I wish I didn't have to take so many meds every day.

Ohhh......I could make lots of wishes. But there really is no point.

You have to make the best with what you've got. And I do try to do that. Most of the time anyway.

But there are "those days" when I do feel a wee bit sorry for myself. But I'm sure everyone gets those. Thankfully, they don't last for long and I can get back to normal again.  I hear people say that they wished they could feel normal.....but this is normal for me, with all the pain, the tiredness and all the other bits and pieces. It's what I am used to. Of course, I wish I wasn't, but.......

Isn't it sad that for so many people, this is what "normal" is. So many people live with illnesses and conditions day in and day out with no chance of change. And so many people's conditions are invisible to others. Just like Trigeminal Neuralgia.

facebook.com/endTrigeminalNeuralgia
This week's post on our TN Awareness page on Facebook was about the fact that Trigeminal Neuralgia is invisible. However, on a positive note, there are a lot of awareness groups just now, so it may be invisible, but it is certainly not going to be silent any longer. We want everyone to know about TN.

Our own group now has this week started a TN blog. If you haven't already seen it, please take a look and let us know what you think. Here's the link http://endtn.blogspot.co.uk/

So there you go. You came to read my blog and get a link to another one as well.

A special two for one offer for today only!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Good Pain

I often say that sometimes I get "good pain" and people look at me strangely. How can pain ever be good?

Well, I believe it can.

Certain things can cause me to have more pain than usual. Like going out in the cold. Like brushing my teeth. Like eating some foods. Obviously those things don't give good pain. Far from it.

Talking causes pain sometimes. Singing causes pain (not just for me!) And laughing causes pain. Those things cause what I call "good pain" Especially the laughing. I call it good pain because I did enjoy the activity at the time, and I knew at the time that I would end up being more painful, but sometimes the pain is just worth it.
Yesterday we went out visiting the family for the first time this year. One of my nieces is staying with my Dad for a couple of weeks with her little girl. This little girl is four and an absolute bundle of fun. She just doesn't stop. I wish I had a tiny bit of her energy. She had us laughing non-stop and we had such a good day. So I laughed non-stop, and yes, I felt the pain a lot then and a lot today, but it was so worth it. Definitely "good pain".

So if someone ever tells they get good pain, please don't look at them strangely. They've possibly discovered that sometimes pain is worth it.




Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Country Road

There is no denying that living with constant chronic pain is not easy.

Through the internet, I have come to meet many people living with pain. We try to support one another. We try to lift each other's spirits. We just try to help one another.

But from time to time, we all wish we could do the things we used to do and to be able to do things faster. But perhaps we need to learn to take small steps, and in taking those small steps, we will notice the things which people taking larger steps just don't notice. Things they take for granted.

Supposing we all have a destination. We have a choice.....we can go on the busy motorway, get really stressed out along the way about the busy, fast moving traffic, or we can choose to go on the quiet country roads, the much more scenic route. The motorway journey will get us there twice as fast, but that country road is slow. We just never know who we might get stuck behind - it could take forever.

But here we are, the chronic pain sufferers, we have no choice, we can't take that motorway journey.

We must take that country road.

We'll get there just the same. But it will be a much longer journey. But imagine what we might see along the way? We have to take our time. That means we can enjoy the scenery. We can take the time to watch the clouds in the sky. We can take the time to look at the birds in the air.

But most of all, we have time for other people on that same journey. And they have time for us. They might stop to spend a few minutes with us, even though it makes their own journey a bit longer. They might even point out something that they noticed along the way.  And, if you need a bit of help, it is guaranteed that someone will come along and give you whatever you need.  If you break down on that country road, a fellow traveller will help you out. They will understand why you have broken down. They will help you. They will support you. They will let you lean on them until you are able to carry on.

Does that happen on the motorway?

Thankfully, there will always be some people who are not chronic pain sufferers who choose to take that country road along with us. They take it because they want to help the people who have no choice. There are many people out there like that. And if you are one of those people I thank you, because you are making someone's journey a little bit easier.

If you live with chronic pain, I hope that you can find some good points to your journey. Take a look across at your fellow travellers and say hello, because maybe right now, they could use a rest and a chat.



Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Fairies Have Limits.....But I Don't


Anyone who is my friend on Facebook would have known that over the weekend my pain had been bad again. I did something I don’t normally do, and I actually broadcast it as my facebook status. Well, not quite in so many words, but I’m sure they figured it out.

What I wrote was this -

Joke for the day



A fairy suddenly appeared in front of three women waving her magic wand. "I have three wishes," she said, "you can each have one."

The first woman quickly said that she wished she could have lots of money. Immediately, her mobile phone rang with a text telling her she had all six numbers in the lottery.

The second woman said she wanted to find a man who would love her forever. Instantly, a man appeared with a dozen red roses professing his undying love for her.

The third woman was in so much pain that she could barely talk. "Money doesn't mean anything to me. I already have a husband who loves me. But I live with Trigeminal Neuralgia, just like thousands of other people world wide. So my wish is that you could take away this disease from everyone." The fairy waved her wand. Nothing happened. She tried again. Still nothing. She called fairy headquarters to ask what was wrong. They told her that the third wish had been just too much to expect. Even fairies have their limits.


The moral of this is that you can make a joke out of a lot of things in life. But living with a disease like Trigeminal Neuralgia is no joke and never will be a joke.


Thankfully, I did perk up a bit the next day and I found my smile again. I hate it when I lose that. Having the pain is bad enough, but when I lose my smile too, that’s a whole other story.

So you will be pleased to know that the smile is firmly planted on my face and I am really trying to keep it there. Life definitely seems better when you smile.

Fairies may have their limits, but that doesn't mean that I need to have limits as well. In fact, I think I need to try to push my limits sometimes.

Yesterday, I tried to do that.

I actually drove to town to collect a prescription for Ian who has a chest infection. This was the first time that I have driven for weeks. If my pain is at its worst, I just wouldn’t drive. And some days, the effect of my tablets make me feel as though my head is full of cotton wool, so on these days, I definitely wouldn’t drive. But yesterday, my head felt clearer, so I knew I would manage the twenty minute journey.

I picked up Ian’s prescription, then nipped to the supermarket for a few things. Well, trust me, I landed there just as the local primary schools were coming out. All the Mums had also decided to nip to the supermarket for a few things with all their kids in tow. The noise was crazy. I suffer from constant ringing in my ears. Like fuzzy electricity, buzzing away inside my head all the time. I don’t know if it’s just another one of my ‘things’, or if it’s just another side effect of my medication. But all the noise inside my head plus all the noise of squealing children in the supermarket nearly had me going demented. By the time I got to the cereal aisle, I was ready to scream. So I quickly paid for my shopping, and headed home.

Of course, by the time I arrived home, I was shattered and went straight to bed for a sleep. But I was pleased with myself that I had actually gone out and done something for a change.


I had pushed my limits a little bit.

I know a twenty minute journey to the shops means nothing to most people, but for me, that was quite a big deal. My face is worse today from the cold yesterday, even though I was dressed as if it was the middle of January and not the first of May. That cold was enough to make my face worse. But I am still glad that I went out. I achieved something.  I pushed my limits and it made me feel good.




Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Crazy, but nice crazy....


My last couple of posts have been a wee bit depressing about coping and about all my pain, whether it be on my face, my back or those silly ribs. I never wanted to have my blog full of doom and gloom all the time because, as I’ve said before, I am a positive person and I do try to keep a smile on my face every day. 

I said way back in the beginning that maybe I should compose a list of all the things which make me smile. I reckon a list is kind of impractical since if I started, well, I don’t think I’d know when to stop. Yes, there are that many things........

One of the things, well, it's not just one thing......it's my nieces and nephews. I have plenty of them and a few of them now have also had children, making us Great Auntie and Great Uncle. (But weren’t we always great???) That does make us feel old though!!!
  
Just a few nights ago, we got the news that one of our nieces had delivered a nice healthy baby girl. A beautiful girl with a beautiful name. Nothing better than a new baby to make you smile.

It is nice having a lot of nieces and nephews. Nothing like getting a hug from them when you see them. Nothing like being given a drawing or a painting especially made for you. When I was a bit fitter I used to get into the kitchen with them and we’d make cakes. Icing sugar everywhere, but I loved it. Now nearly all of them are old enough to be making cakes themselves, getting icing sugar everywhere in their own kitchens.

I always had great fun when we have had them come to visit. From nail painting to climbing mountains. (Actually, it wasn’t a mountain, and we drove up, but it felt like a very long climb!!) But I always enjoyed their visits. Not always relaxing, but always enjoyable. Acually, sometimes it was relaxing..... I used to pay some of them fifty pence for a foot massage. And they did it! I think I’d need to pay more than that nowadays.

One of my nieces Skyped me this morning. She is living is Spain and tells me that she has now grown up. And she is only 26!!! She is a bit crazy. Actually, not a bit crazy......she is very crazy. But crazy in a nice way. I won’t mention her name, but many people who read my blog will know exactly who I am talking about. There is only one of her. (Thank goodness......I don’t think the world could cope with two!)

Seriously, she is my niece and I love her........but she is definitely crazy. I really shouldn’t say too much, because she is a bit infectious, and whenever I am around her, I do become ever so slightly crazy too. Nice crazy though!  Maybe not even crazy - just a bit silly. We have this thing about singing.  But neither of us can sing. But we both love to. Normally Christmas songs. Oh, and Abba songs. We just get louder and louder and more and more out of tune and drive every one else crazy. Not so nice crazy though......

Anyway, none of my nieces or nephews are any more special than the others. But some are definitely crazier! But whether they’re crazy, quiet, shy, whatever......each one of them has made me smile.

And I think that my ‘crazy’ niece may be an example to everyone.  I'm not sure that I would like her to grow up completely. Maybe none of us should grow up 100%.

It's nice to keep a little bit of silliness in your life.




Sunday, October 23, 2011

On a lighter note....

I do have a life which has a lot of pain in it, but I don't want to give the impression that it's all doom and gloom all the time.

By nature I am a happy person. I try to see the positives in life rather than the negatives.  I smile every day and I laugh every day (even though it hurts sometimes).  I believe that we have to take what we're given in life and live with it to the best of our abilities. Okay, so I'm not superhuman and I may have the odd day when I feel pretty down, but mostly, I try to get up every morning, put a smile on my face and get on with it.

It does help having a crazy husband who tries to make me laugh at every opportunity.