Showing posts with label smile. Show all posts
Showing posts with label smile. Show all posts

Saturday, April 02, 2016

Your Life, Your Choice

Since April is "Your Life, Your Choice" month, I felt the need to write a wee blog post about it. Actually, I didn't feel the need at all.....I chose to write it. (Big difference!)

We all go through life making choices. What time to set the alarm? Breakfast or no breakfast? Tea or coffee? Chocolate or......chocolate? Sometimes the choices are simple. Some choices might be easier to make than others.

My Mum used to tell me that I had a good attitude to life. She said that no matter what life gave me, I always tried to smile and just get on with life.

I turned fifty last month (not really by choice๐Ÿ˜ฎ), but I can look back on my life and I realise that my Mum was right. I do have a good attitude and I am quite proud to admit that.

I try to find the positives in everything. When I find only negative, I try my hardest to turn it around. I try to find something to feel happy about. Something to make me smile. Something....anything which can make a difficult situation a wee bit better. And there is always something.

☔️ Caught in the rain on way to the car - thankful we have a car.
๐Ÿ“Not a single bit of chocolate in the house - but I have fruit!
๐ŸŒŽ Can't afford to go on holiday - have you seen the views from my house?

Obviously those are trivial examples, but they are real examples. For me, it seems natural to find positives. But I know it's not the same for everyone. However, it is believed that people have the power to choose whether to live with negativity or positivity.

It has long been established that positive thinking can lead to a happier, more contented life. For people living with a chronic illness of any kind, it is believed that a positive outlook can also help them to cope with and manage their illness.

I would say that in my case, that is definitely true.

When faced with daily health issues and chronic pain, I personally believe that 'choosing' positivity is so important.

I wake up in the morning and don't know if my back will cope with getting out of bed. My husband has to help me with some of my clothes, because I can't manage myself. Am I going to be able to make myself a cup of tea, or do I need to rely on my husband to do that too. My face hurts the minute I wake up. I don't know if the pain from it will stay at that level, or if it will get worse throughout the day. Will I struggle with food? Will I be able to clean my teeth? Will I need to spend most of the day in bed because of pain in some part of my body?

I could easily wake up in the morning and think about those things and be slowly dragged down into a deep black hole. But I don't want to be in that hole and I don't have to go into it. I have a choice.

Instead, I choose to be grateful. I choose to be optimistic. I choose to smile. I choose to be happy. It's my life and I choose to focus on positivity. 


I wake up and say, thank goodness I have a rail by my bed to help me get up; I'm glad my understanding husband is here to help me throughout the day; I enjoy porridge, soup, pasta and other soft food which is easier to eat; I have a dog who laughs as he bounces through to see me when he decides I've stayed in bed too long; a cat who seems to sense when I'm having a bad day and sits by my side.

Do those things take away my pain? No, of course they don't. But those kind of things help me cope with my problems. My life's not a bed of roses, but those positive thoughts help to put a smile on my face and get on with life, just as my Mum used to say.

Everyone has choices in life and there are always positives to be found.

It's up to us to find them.

#YourLifeYourChoice





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Good Pain

Friday, June 29, 2012

 The Fight 
What’s this thing doing to my life?
Constantly attacked by a butcher’s knife
The handle hammering the side of my head
Feels like it must be made of lead
The blade is in my teeth slicing up to my eye
I have a question. Just one. “WHY?”
Just seems like a never ending hill
And I climb it. Popping pill after pill
I occasionally get somewhere near the top
Then, action begins. A sign appears. “STOP!”
The knives come out and they drag me back
Way down through that worn out track
I plead with them to leave me alone
But no. They stay. Silently, I groan

Pain has taken so much from me
One day, I hope, it will set me free
But until it does, I must keep up this fight
Day after day; night after night
Because I am Liz
The one who never loses the place
The one who always has a smile on her face
                                                                                E.S.





Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Fairies Have Limits.....But I Don't


Anyone who is my friend on Facebook would have known that over the weekend my pain had been bad again. I did something I don’t normally do, and I actually broadcast it as my facebook status. Well, not quite in so many words, but I’m sure they figured it out.

What I wrote was this -

Joke for the day



A fairy suddenly appeared in front of three women waving her magic wand. "I have three wishes," she said, "you can each have one."

The first woman quickly said that she wished she could have lots of money. Immediately, her mobile phone rang with a text telling her she had all six numbers in the lottery.

The second woman said she wanted to find a man who would love her forever. Instantly, a man appeared with a dozen red roses professing his undying love for her.

The third woman was in so much pain that she could barely talk. "Money doesn't mean anything to me. I already have a husband who loves me. But I live with Trigeminal Neuralgia, just like thousands of other people world wide. So my wish is that you could take away this disease from everyone." The fairy waved her wand. Nothing happened. She tried again. Still nothing. She called fairy headquarters to ask what was wrong. They told her that the third wish had been just too much to expect. Even fairies have their limits.


The moral of this is that you can make a joke out of a lot of things in life. But living with a disease like Trigeminal Neuralgia is no joke and never will be a joke.


Thankfully, I did perk up a bit the next day and I found my smile again. I hate it when I lose that. Having the pain is bad enough, but when I lose my smile too, that’s a whole other story.

So you will be pleased to know that the smile is firmly planted on my face and I am really trying to keep it there. Life definitely seems better when you smile.

Fairies may have their limits, but that doesn't mean that I need to have limits as well. In fact, I think I need to try to push my limits sometimes.

Yesterday, I tried to do that.

I actually drove to town to collect a prescription for Ian who has a chest infection. This was the first time that I have driven for weeks. If my pain is at its worst, I just wouldn’t drive. And some days, the effect of my tablets make me feel as though my head is full of cotton wool, so on these days, I definitely wouldn’t drive. But yesterday, my head felt clearer, so I knew I would manage the twenty minute journey.

I picked up Ian’s prescription, then nipped to the supermarket for a few things. Well, trust me, I landed there just as the local primary schools were coming out. All the Mums had also decided to nip to the supermarket for a few things with all their kids in tow. The noise was crazy. I suffer from constant ringing in my ears. Like fuzzy electricity, buzzing away inside my head all the time. I don’t know if it’s just another one of my ‘things’, or if it’s just another side effect of my medication. But all the noise inside my head plus all the noise of squealing children in the supermarket nearly had me going demented. By the time I got to the cereal aisle, I was ready to scream. So I quickly paid for my shopping, and headed home.

Of course, by the time I arrived home, I was shattered and went straight to bed for a sleep. But I was pleased with myself that I had actually gone out and done something for a change.


I had pushed my limits a little bit.

I know a twenty minute journey to the shops means nothing to most people, but for me, that was quite a big deal. My face is worse today from the cold yesterday, even though I was dressed as if it was the middle of January and not the first of May. That cold was enough to make my face worse. But I am still glad that I went out. I achieved something.  I pushed my limits and it made me feel good.




Friday, April 13, 2012

Normality

Everyone who knows me knows that I do try to smile even though I am hurting. But occasionally I do have off-days. On one of my recent off days I wrote a poem. A very long poem, called Normality.

I was feeling very sorry for myself at the time and started thinking about some of the things which have gone wrong over my life. Then my doorbell rung. A friend had decided on the spur of the moment to come to see me. Almost instantly, my mood lifted. It was a much needed visit!

I really don't have days like that too often. I just tend to get a smile on my face and work my way through the day. But it was just so nice to get that surprise visit the other day.

I finished my poem when I was in a better frame of mind and have decided to put it here. I'm not putting it here to look for sympathy. Sympathy doesn't help me. I'm actually putting it here in the hope that it might help some other people who are also going through tough times. We all find our own ways of coping with our problems. And no matter how bad a problem seems at the time, we can get through them. Somehow, we get through them.




Normality

I think it began with my back
I was ten
It decided to grow out of shape
I got worse after that
The scoliosis affected my pelvis
I can remember praying
Yes, praying
That I could just be normal
Just let me wake up and be normal
That’s all I wanted
It’s not what I got

I always felt kind of strange
An oddity
But it became worse, not better
The migraines started
Blind spots and sparkling lights
Afterwards, the headache
I was thirteen
Painful joints started too
Knees occasionally, fingers were worst
I wanted normality
It’s not what I got

That twisted back became painful
I was still at school
Sitting in classrooms I felt it burn
I tried to ignore it
I pretended it wasn’t there
I was still praying
For normality
I didn’t want to be like this
Just let me wake up and be normal
That’s all I wanted
It’s not what I got

I got checked out for Marfan’s
Relief!!
I didn’t have it, but I was Marfan-like
I had some of the symptoms
One was a mitral valve prolapse
Amongst the other things
Why me?
What was going on?
Please, just let me be normal
Why can’t I be normal?
I’ve never had that

The back pain got much worse
Much worse
I certainly couldn’t ignore it
It kept making me faint
The muscles were in spasm
I could hardly move
Pain
I was only about twenty-four
Now I prayed that the pain would go
That’s all I wanted
It’s not what I got

Heart palpitations started at the same time
My heart raced
It pounded like it would jump out my body
It could last for a minute
Or as long as two hours or more
Came on for no reason
No reason at all
It was frightening. Scary
Once a week, sometimes more
Was this normal?
Certainly not

The headaches were getting worse
I was under 25
Not always blind spots or sparkling lights
But my face was hurting too
Just constant pain on my head and face
And my teeth. They hurt like mad
Like torture
The doctors said it was migraine
The dentist, well he said it was normal
Actually I know now
It was the start of TN

There have been a few other things along the way
Like Raynaud’s
Plenty of aches and pains, from my ribs to my toes
The shoulders and neck
It just seems that my life has been full of pain
Pain is just part of my life
It’s normal
No point in praying to be normal
Living with pain IS normal for me
I wanted normality
But not like this

So what did I do to deserve all this
Nothing
That’s right.....I did absolutely nothing
I don’t deserve this pain
But I’ve got it. And I need to smile through it
That’s my way of coping
Not by praying
It didn’t change things for all those years
It didn’t take my pain away or straighten my spine
That was what I wanted
But that wasn’t what I got

Life can be very unfair sometimes
Extremely
There is no ‘one size fits all’ for everyone
So everyone is normal
Even me, with my odd back and all my pain
And trust me, there are people much worse
And they’re normal too
So now I don’t pray to be normal
I don’t pray for my pain to be taken away
I laugh. I smile. I stay happy
I cope with my pain that way


I never look ahead to the future
I can’t
I’m sure it would frighten me if I tried
I’ve enough to deal with the present
So I try to just deal with today
Pain is just part of my life
That is normality
So I smile, I laugh, I stay happy
Because that is just how I deal with my pain
I smile, I laugh, I stay happy
But sometimes, I just say ‘why?’
                                            E.S.





Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Crazy, but nice crazy....


My last couple of posts have been a wee bit depressing about coping and about all my pain, whether it be on my face, my back or those silly ribs. I never wanted to have my blog full of doom and gloom all the time because, as I’ve said before, I am a positive person and I do try to keep a smile on my face every day. 

I said way back in the beginning that maybe I should compose a list of all the things which make me smile. I reckon a list is kind of impractical since if I started, well, I don’t think I’d know when to stop. Yes, there are that many things........

One of the things, well, it's not just one thing......it's my nieces and nephews. I have plenty of them and a few of them now have also had children, making us Great Auntie and Great Uncle. (But weren’t we always great???) That does make us feel old though!!!
  
Just a few nights ago, we got the news that one of our nieces had delivered a nice healthy baby girl. A beautiful girl with a beautiful name. Nothing better than a new baby to make you smile.

It is nice having a lot of nieces and nephews. Nothing like getting a hug from them when you see them. Nothing like being given a drawing or a painting especially made for you. When I was a bit fitter I used to get into the kitchen with them and we’d make cakes. Icing sugar everywhere, but I loved it. Now nearly all of them are old enough to be making cakes themselves, getting icing sugar everywhere in their own kitchens.

I always had great fun when we have had them come to visit. From nail painting to climbing mountains. (Actually, it wasn’t a mountain, and we drove up, but it felt like a very long climb!!) But I always enjoyed their visits. Not always relaxing, but always enjoyable. Acually, sometimes it was relaxing..... I used to pay some of them fifty pence for a foot massage. And they did it! I think I’d need to pay more than that nowadays.

One of my nieces Skyped me this morning. She is living is Spain and tells me that she has now grown up. And she is only 26!!! She is a bit crazy. Actually, not a bit crazy......she is very crazy. But crazy in a nice way. I won’t mention her name, but many people who read my blog will know exactly who I am talking about. There is only one of her. (Thank goodness......I don’t think the world could cope with two!)

Seriously, she is my niece and I love her........but she is definitely crazy. I really shouldn’t say too much, because she is a bit infectious, and whenever I am around her, I do become ever so slightly crazy too. Nice crazy though!  Maybe not even crazy - just a bit silly. We have this thing about singing.  But neither of us can sing. But we both love to. Normally Christmas songs. Oh, and Abba songs. We just get louder and louder and more and more out of tune and drive every one else crazy. Not so nice crazy though......

Anyway, none of my nieces or nephews are any more special than the others. But some are definitely crazier! But whether they’re crazy, quiet, shy, whatever......each one of them has made me smile.

And I think that my ‘crazy’ niece may be an example to everyone.  I'm not sure that I would like her to grow up completely. Maybe none of us should grow up 100%.

It's nice to keep a little bit of silliness in your life.




Monday, December 05, 2011

Smile

So it’s been another few tough days.

Oh how I would love to write that I’ve had  few good days. I know it would make a lot of people happy as well as myself and hubby. But living with chronic pain doesn’t quite work like that.


Sometimes I worry about writing this blog. I am basically opening up my everyday life to the world. Well, not quite the world, maybe just a few people. But some of those people are close family members. And some of them have read my blog and they have told me that it had made them cry. They understood my life and my condition better.........but they had cried.

I feel bad that I have made people cry. That wasn’t my intention.

But those people have also told me that they are glad I have started writing this. They are glad that they understand better. And they think that writing it must be good for me. I actually agree with that. I am sure that I mentioned it before that I think it’s kind of therapeutic getting it all out, so to speak.

I know I definitely have said this before, but I’ll say it again anyway........I don’t want people to think my life is all doom and gloom. It’s not. Even over the last few days, I could still raise a smile. I’m glad that I can. And I am glad that I have a husband who helps with that. I feel bad for him. I would hate to be in his position - wanting to help, but feeling that there’s nothing I could do. But, he does help me a lot. Apart from everyday chores and cooking etc. he just needs to say something, or do something, and that’s it, I’m away.....laughing....one hand holding my face, the other clutching those sore ribs.

But it’s not just him who can make me laugh or get me smiling. Lots of things do. Simple things. Silly things. Maybe I’ll make a list some day.

I just really, really believe that it is better for everyone to smile. Whether you’re rich or poor, healthy or sick, a smile makes the world a brighter place. Smiles are special. Smiles can say things that words can't. You might just make someone's day by giving them a smile. So next time you see someone without a smile, give them one on yours.

But one more thing about smiles. They're a bit like rabbits. They breed easily. Smiles tend to breed more smiles. Starts with just one, then before you know it, everyone is doing it.

So this is a great big S-M-I-L-E from me.

Now you have to pass it on to someone else.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

On a lighter note....

I do have a life which has a lot of pain in it, but I don't want to give the impression that it's all doom and gloom all the time.

By nature I am a happy person. I try to see the positives in life rather than the negatives.  I smile every day and I laugh every day (even though it hurts sometimes).  I believe that we have to take what we're given in life and live with it to the best of our abilities. Okay, so I'm not superhuman and I may have the odd day when I feel pretty down, but mostly, I try to get up every morning, put a smile on my face and get on with it.

It does help having a crazy husband who tries to make me laugh at every opportunity.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Up late, sore face

So.......here I am, 40 minutes after midnight and I am still messing around with this blog.

Actually, I would have gone off to bed a while ago, but I am sitting here hoping that my tablets kick in for my trigeminal neuralgia. Tri what? That's the normal response.

Trigeminal Neuralgia

Not nice. Not fair. And not wanting to write about it tonight, so I won't. I'll save that little gem for another day.

All I'll say just now is "AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH......I am sick to the back teeth of living with chronic pain!" Whoever first used that saying must have had trigeminal neuralgia. Right now my back teeth really hurt, my front teeth really hurt, my head really hurts, my face really hurts.

Not much fun....but that's life for some people. But you know what....I still smile. Sometimes it hurts, but I still smile and I hope I never stop smiling.

Now I will get off to bed and hopefully sleep.