Showing posts with label tablets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tablets. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Fairies Have Limits.....But I Don't


Anyone who is my friend on Facebook would have known that over the weekend my pain had been bad again. I did something I don’t normally do, and I actually broadcast it as my facebook status. Well, not quite in so many words, but I’m sure they figured it out.

What I wrote was this -

Joke for the day



A fairy suddenly appeared in front of three women waving her magic wand. "I have three wishes," she said, "you can each have one."

The first woman quickly said that she wished she could have lots of money. Immediately, her mobile phone rang with a text telling her she had all six numbers in the lottery.

The second woman said she wanted to find a man who would love her forever. Instantly, a man appeared with a dozen red roses professing his undying love for her.

The third woman was in so much pain that she could barely talk. "Money doesn't mean anything to me. I already have a husband who loves me. But I live with Trigeminal Neuralgia, just like thousands of other people world wide. So my wish is that you could take away this disease from everyone." The fairy waved her wand. Nothing happened. She tried again. Still nothing. She called fairy headquarters to ask what was wrong. They told her that the third wish had been just too much to expect. Even fairies have their limits.


The moral of this is that you can make a joke out of a lot of things in life. But living with a disease like Trigeminal Neuralgia is no joke and never will be a joke.


Thankfully, I did perk up a bit the next day and I found my smile again. I hate it when I lose that. Having the pain is bad enough, but when I lose my smile too, that’s a whole other story.

So you will be pleased to know that the smile is firmly planted on my face and I am really trying to keep it there. Life definitely seems better when you smile.

Fairies may have their limits, but that doesn't mean that I need to have limits as well. In fact, I think I need to try to push my limits sometimes.

Yesterday, I tried to do that.

I actually drove to town to collect a prescription for Ian who has a chest infection. This was the first time that I have driven for weeks. If my pain is at its worst, I just wouldn’t drive. And some days, the effect of my tablets make me feel as though my head is full of cotton wool, so on these days, I definitely wouldn’t drive. But yesterday, my head felt clearer, so I knew I would manage the twenty minute journey.

I picked up Ian’s prescription, then nipped to the supermarket for a few things. Well, trust me, I landed there just as the local primary schools were coming out. All the Mums had also decided to nip to the supermarket for a few things with all their kids in tow. The noise was crazy. I suffer from constant ringing in my ears. Like fuzzy electricity, buzzing away inside my head all the time. I don’t know if it’s just another one of my ‘things’, or if it’s just another side effect of my medication. But all the noise inside my head plus all the noise of squealing children in the supermarket nearly had me going demented. By the time I got to the cereal aisle, I was ready to scream. So I quickly paid for my shopping, and headed home.

Of course, by the time I arrived home, I was shattered and went straight to bed for a sleep. But I was pleased with myself that I had actually gone out and done something for a change.


I had pushed my limits a little bit.

I know a twenty minute journey to the shops means nothing to most people, but for me, that was quite a big deal. My face is worse today from the cold yesterday, even though I was dressed as if it was the middle of January and not the first of May. That cold was enough to make my face worse. But I am still glad that I went out. I achieved something.  I pushed my limits and it made me feel good.




Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Patient or Carer???


Not been doing too good. Again.......yes, again!!!!!

Last week was a really bad week and by Friday night, I really didn’t know what to do, because the pain in my face and head was just so extreme. I could have cried, but that would have made the pain worse.

I ended up taking diazepam which helped me get to sleep. I woke up through the night with the pain, but thankfully the following day, it did start to calm down.

By Tuesday, when  I was feeling a good bit better, I had an appointment to see my GP.

Oh, I am sure her other patients must hate me. I must have been in her room for a lot longer than the allotted appointment time . She has increased my Tegretol now to the maximum allowed dose, and she is looking into another drug, should the Tegretol still not work. The problem is trying to work out how the new drug would work alongside the drugs I am on already. She'll figure it out. She has the patience of a Saint and tries so hard to help me. I can see in her face that she is actually disappointed when the meds don’t work. Not just from a doctor’s point of view, but she seems to genuinely care about me and my pain.

Back at home, that husband of mine.......well, where would I be without him? He’s down to earth, not all slushy and gushy, but when I am needing his help, he is right there. Getting tablets, making sure I eat, trying to help in whatever way he can. But most especially, trying to take my mind off the pain. Yes, he is still making me laugh. I am so grateful for that. Although, on Friday night, I really don’t think anything could have made me laugh. But he was still there by my side.

So......two carers. One, my GP; the other, my loving, caring husband.

Now, obviously, I couldn’t trade places with my doctor....I don’t have the qualifications for that.

But my husband, I have to say that I would never, ever want to trade places with him. I would rather keep the pain than give it to him. I would hate to do the job he does. I would hate to be the carer of a loved one. I don’t mean that I would hate to do the physical job of looking after my husband. Of course, I would do that. I would do whatever I was physically able to do for him.

I mean I would hate to watch my husband suffer from the pain of Trigeminal Neuralgia or some other form of chronic pain. I would be crying seeing him in that pain. I couldn’t try to distract him by making him laugh. If he was in so much pain that he was almost crying, I would do the crying for him.

So no matter how bad my Trigeminal Neuralgia or my back pain ever gets, I would rather take the pain than have the tables turned and watch him suffer from it. The physical part of caring is not the issue. It is the emotional part of watching the person you love most in the world suffer, knowing that you can’t rid them of their pain.

His isn’t an easy job. And I really don’t think that spouses or other family members who are carers get enough credit for what they do. At times, it must be physically tiring. But it also must be emotionally exhausting some of the time.

By the way, my husband doesn't read my blog, so I'm not just writing this so that he will read it and know that I appreciate him.  I am sure he already knows that. And the reason he doesn't read it - he says that he lives with me, he sees my pain every day. He copes with it all, but if he were to read my blog, actually read about my pain in black and white, he reckons he would hit a breaking point. Then he couldn't cope.

So, you see, the chronic pain patient doesn't get it easy. But I believe that their carer, if it is a loved one, doesn't get it too easy either.



Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hope

My face wasn’t doing good last week. I mean, it’s never good, but last week it got worse. One day it just went off the charts for me.

This is what used to happen with my back. It would be bad, and I would learn to cope with it at that level. Then it would get worse, and I had to learn to cope with it at that new level.

I suppose that’s what living with chronic pain is like. It’s always there, so you kind of get used to it. Then it sends in a reminder. Just in case you had forgotten. If only..........

I felt like I had been coping with my face a little better before this last episode. I actually felt as though I was getting my life back on track. You know, like actually getting out of bed and getting dressed in the mornings. Then wham, bam, here we go again.


My GP had received a letter from the pain clinic a couple of weeks ago suggesting a new med for me to try. At that point, I was doing that bit better, and the thought of a new med actually scared me. Going through all the starting from scratch with it, the side effects, then of course, the big one - is it actually going to help?

My GP completely understood, and agreed with me. If I am doing ok on what I am on, there is no point in changing. Of course, the pain clinic hadn’t sent that letter just for the fun of it. It was because the pain clinic nurse called to see how I was doing a few weeks ago, right bang slap in the middle of a bad spell. So they were trying to help. It was shortly after I spoke to her that I had that little bit of a better spell. Then I get another bad spell. It can be like being on one of those rollercoasters. One day you're up, next your down. I guess I am just grateful for the 'up' days.

I am hoping that it was just a bad spell last week, and hopefully it will stay calmed down. Just now, it’s not too bad, but my teeth are feeling as though they are on the verge of going crazy. Or maybe that's just me......

But at least if it all does get worse again, then I know that there is another option out there for me. And I suppose it’s good to know that there are other options.

There have to be other options. And there has to be knowledge that someone is wanting to help.

But most of all, there has to be hope of finding a way out of this illness.

We need hope. A lot of hope.

We really need it.........

Saturday, February 04, 2012

No Business Like Snow Business


Feeling a bit brain dead this morning. I had an argument with hubby earlier about what day of the week it was. I was convinced this was Sunday. Hmm.....had to look at the computer to check. Then had to tell him he was right. Again....lol!

It's the tablets. They get the blame for everything.

So.....Saturday the 4th of February and it seems like winter has decided to make an appearance today. A little snow....but it is absolutely freezing cold. I'm glad we don't need to go out. I would suffer going out in that cold.

Hopefully we don't get too much of that cold, white, fluffy stuff. But there is one member of the household who absolutely loves it. The minute he sees it, he is desperate to get outside, get his nose into it and kick it up with his heels. No, not Ian. It's the dog. Red absolutely loves playing in the snow.

A couple of years ago we had a really bad winter here. We were well and truly snowed in. But Red thought he was in heaven. We couldn't get out to get milk or bread,  but our dog was the happiest dog on the planet. This is a photo of him that winter. I'm sure you can tell that he was kind of happy.

I just wish I didn't have TN - I'd probably be out there throwing snowballs for him.