Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Price of Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and the shops were still busy
The hustle and bustle would make you dizzy
No cash to be seen but credit cards appear
No expense is spared....it will be paid for next year

The must have items have gone down a treat
Christmas for the bosses will be so sweet
Tonight they are rubbing their hands with glee
Because they'll find a bonus under their tree

But what of the customers who've shopped at their stores?
They dread the bills coming through their doors
Some will pay it off throughout the next year
And some will be depressed with worry and fear

Some say the tv adverts are to blame
Telling the kids about a new X box game
The latest whatever, that they really do need
They look to their parents....and then they plead

So some parents will try their best to please
Sometimes getting in debt up to their knees
They can't let their child be the one without
But is this what Christmas is all about?

The shops, the banks, the taxman as well
They love the money, love its smell
They encourage everyone to spend, spend, spend
And when there's no money, they'll even lend

Perhaps it's time for a change next year
To make Christmas simply about good cheer
About love, about families and about sharing
Because shouldn't Christmas be a time for caring?
E. Sirrell 24/12/13


I hope everyone has a truly happy, caring & sharing Christmas. Thank you for reading my blog, for allowing me to share a little part of me.



Thursday, December 19, 2013

Being Thankful

When things go wrong in life, we are often quick to complain. And very often the complaint is justified and necessary so that things can improve. Whether it be cold food in a restaurant, a rude shop assistant or poor hospital treatment, it is only right to complain in order that management can learn about and fix the problem.

But when things go the right way, we don't always show appreciation. We just accept it, because that's how it should be. But perhaps it would help people to continue doing a good job if they are told that their work is appreciated.

A couple of days ago, we were travelling to a hospital to visit my sister who has been ill. We were listening to the radio on the journey. The news came on and mentioned a "damning report" about three hospitals in the area, one being the hospital where my sister was a patient. There was a list of complaints about the hospitals and one of the failures mentioned was the quality of care. That certainly hasn't been the case with my sister. My family cannot praise the hospital staff highly enough for the care she has received. As worried as we all have been, we knew she was in the best possible hands. So this is definitely one occassion when we will be saying thank you, and telling people they have done a good job, especially since my sister was well enough to come home last night.

There are very often pressures on hospital staff, whether it be understaffing, extra long hours, too many patients but not enough beds, or targets to reach. It must be soul destroying at times for caring staff who do their best to look after their patients to hear of those reports, especially when the blame probably lies at the hands of management. Maybe a report in the media saying how good hospital staff are would do more good and raise morale.

Everyone needs a morale boost from time to time. And it really doesn't take much time or effort (or money) just to say "Thank you" to let people know how much they are appreciated.




Friday, December 06, 2013

My Mum

I've written about my Mum before in the posts Dear Mum and Mother's Day. She has also been in a few of my other posts, so I am sure you will have picked up that my Mum was very, very special.

To be honest, I didn't think I would ever write the post which I am about to write. But today, something is just making me write it.

Four years ago on this very day, my family and I were sitting around my Mum's bed waiting and hoping that she could have as peaceful an end to her life as possible. And thankfully she did, just a few minutes after midnight, my Mum passed away.

My Mum, out skipping with her granddaughter
Right up until the summer of that year, my Mum had been in perfect health. Better than perfect, in fact. My Mum was in her element when playing with her grandchildren. She would be outside 'running races' or skipping with my young niece. If the weather wasn't good enough to be outside doing that, she had the grandchildren in the kitchen baking pancakes, scones and cakes. If they were happy, she was happy.

But at the end of that summer, my Mum developed an irritating cough. A lot of people in the area had a similar irritating cough so nobody, including her doctor, thought it was anything to worry about. But it became persistant, and was dragging her down. The doctor was doing all the usual things doctors do for irritating coughs, but nothing was helping. I can remember visiting and I got a shock....she looked ghastly.

The doctor was coming in to visit the following day, and when he did, I think he got a shock too at how fast she seemed to be going downhill. He had her admitted to hospital. She was put on oxygen and looked so much better. But they had to find out the cause of the cough.

Turned out my Mum had cancer of the kidney and it had spread, and obviously now her lungs were affected. It was so widespread, and nothing could be done. She had no symptoms other than that cough, so there had been no reason to go to the doctor earlier. The doctor showed us the scan, and I remember asking if they were sure that was Mum's scan. She only went in with a cough, and now we were facing this.

We got Mum home, and just tried to make the most of the next few weeks. My Mum just faced up to this with a strength which was amazing, but didn't really surprise us.

I have told people in the past that those seven weeks were the worst weeks of my life, but in a strange way, they were also the best weeks of my life. The times we shared were more than special. I stayed there most of the time and we talked, we looked through photos together or we played scrabble. We laughed. We talked more. Sometimes we didn't talk. Sometimes we just looked at each other....no words were needed.

My Dad, sister and I kind of held each other together throughout those weeks. Actually, I think it was my Mum who was holding all of us together. But we get through it. And now today, four years on, it still feels as though she should answer the phone when I phone my Dad. It still feels like she should be in the kitchen when I visit, making me those treacle pancakes. It still feels like she should still be there. And I have realised that I like that feeling, and I never want it to stop. I like the memories and I don't want them to go. My Mum will always be part of me, part of who I am. She will always be in my head and she will always be in my heart giving me hope and strength when I need it.

So today is just one of those days when we have thought even more than usual about my Mum. And she has been there giving me and my family hope and strength today as always. And I know she always will be doing just that. She was special...very, very special.
My Mum at our wedding in 1992

Saturday, November 02, 2013

Mad Giraffe Days

Last week I was a giraffe for a few days.

It was a silly game on Facebook. I don't normally do those silly games, but that one appealed to me. We had to solve a riddle, and if we got it wrong, we were supposed to put a photo of a giraffe on our profile. Yes it was silly, but every now and again we all just need a bit of silliness in our lives. Besides which, I was brought up answering riddles. My Grandfather was an expert at them and had taught me well, so I was pretty sure I knew the correct answer.

Hmm....of course, I was wrong and I became a giraffe.

It was silly, but it was fun. Silly jokes about giraffes. Silly photos of giraffes. And lots of people having lots of laughs about those giraffes.

It is really quite difficult to take yourself (or anyone else) seriously when there is a giraffe with an odd expression staring back at you. 

But it's not the first time I've been a giraffe.

I was very tall, and I spent my childhood with that name pinned on me by school mates and teachers (yes, teachers too). I wouldn't say they bullied me, just made fun of me....except, it wasn't much fun for me.

I suppose that's what childhood is about - getting the odd knock here and there and learning to get back up and stand tall.

I did actually get to an age when I was quite happy to be tall, and funnily enough, the name calling also stopped. Or maybe I just stopped listening to it.

You may have noticed that I said I was very tall, as opposed to I am very tall. That wasn't a mistake. When I was 15, I was six feet tall. I have lost a few of those inches since then. I don't know where I lost them, and I don't suppose I'll ever find them again.

Anyway....those few days taught me a couple of things. One being that after all of those years of being poked fun at, I actually quite enjoyed being a giraffe after all.

And the other thing I learned....there is only one thing worse than being a giraffe with a sore neck, and that is a centipede with sore feet. (Sorry!)

Friday, October 25, 2013

SPAM

Picture from the Official UK Spam website
www.spam-uk.com
I hate spam. Always have.

That pink chopped ham and pork which comes in the tin whose purpose in life is to cut half your fingers off...Sorry to any Spam lovers out there, but that stuff just makes me go eeeuuugh.

But my blog post isn't actually about that kind of Spam. It's about the email type of spam. The equivalent of the junk mail which the postman brings on a daily basis. It all gets kind of annoying. I don't want to buy watches, handbags or even those little blue pills. And I don't want to give anyone my bank details so that they can deposit half a million US dollars into my account. I don't believe the story that Great Auntie Doris has left me all that money, nor do I believe I can save the computer world by forwarding on a message about a fake virus. But those are the joys of computing......

Spam on Skype is a little different. Messages, normally from a General in the US army (yeah right!), who is just back from serving in Afghanistan. Wanting some friendship. Oh, and I was nearly always told that I have a friendly face and a lovely smile.

I actually laughed when I received those messages. My Skype profile picture is just a design, there is no photo showing a friendly face or lovely smile. So Skype spam gave me a laugh, but I began receiving the messages like this every day, and they became tedious.

However, I finally found a way to stop them. Went into Skpe profile and unticked the box "female". Simple as that. Not a single message since.

Now on to Facebook. I, along with many others, get the occasional private message turning up from some strange stranger looking for lasting friendship, and they just happened to come across my profile. And guess what.....they are also Generals in the US army who have just been serving in Afghanistan. How boring, can't they think of some other occupation?

Anyway, they are easy to deal with. Hit report....they're gone.

However, the other day, I received one of the above private messages on Facebook. The usual kind of message, but he had also poked me!!! For those who don't use Facebook, you can click a button to poke a friend. A friendly poke to say hello. I'm not overly keen on friendly pokes. I have sore ribs, pokes could hurt.

But this poke was from a stranger. A stranger! Poking me!!

That's worse than spam.  It's even worse than Spam!

Eeeuuugh!!!



Friday, September 27, 2013

An Explanation

I do worry that I am pushing TN down people's throats these days, but I think you'll have gathered that I am kind of passionate about getting awareness for this condition.

There will be an awareness day on the 7th of October.....first ever. After that, I will try to slow down a little bit with the TN posts. (That's not a promise though :) )

The trouble is, TN and other chronic pain are part of my life. Unfortunately, a big part.

Other people write in blogs and on facebook about what they've been doing, places they've been, what they've eaten for dinner, but my life kind of revolves around my pain. I'm not looking for sympathy here......just trying to explain.

I actually have a nice life, I am a happy person, and believe it or not, despite the pain, I consider myself to be pretty lucky.

But, I know how much TN is ignored by the medical profession. I know how difficult it is for people to get a proper diagnosis, and I know how difficult it is for people to get the correct meds to help. And I know that those correct meds don't really help all that well!

So, if you are still following my blog and facebook page, thank you! It means a lot.

Friday, September 20, 2013

A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine go down....

A couple of days ago I came across an article in the Daily Mail....a health expert has been doing studies and came to the conclusion that sugar is bad for us. Duh! Think we all know it's not the best thing for us, but, in moderation I'm sure it's ok.

But, why are health experts doing studies on things like this?
And, why are newspapers writing about them?

There are countless illnesses and conditions which are forgotten about.

Where are the health experts? Off discussing how bad a mars bar is for you?
Where are the Newspapers? The television and radio news?

There are no statistics about Trigeminal Neuralgia. And no cure.

Our stories are obviously not interesting enough for the media. Stories of children living with this constant pain, stories of people being imprisoned in there homes because of the pain, stories of people losing their jobs, their homes, their partners....their lives.

Why is it that the only people fighting for awareness are the sufferers and carers themselves?

I have written countless letters to newspapers, tv & radio, but get no reply. But after seeing that story about the dangers of sugar, I wrote a letter to the newspaper saying more or less what I said above. I did get a reply saying it was being passed on to the Editor. I don't think for a minute that it will make anyone publish a story about Trigeminal Neuralgia, but at least the letter was read...and who knows.

But if any of you come across stories like that, and you say, that's ridiculous.....they write about that, but don't bother with TN or other serious, but not talked about condition.....write to them. Tell them.

And if anyone is interested in the article about sugar....it's here
And, if you are interested in writing to the Daily Mail with a similar message, you'll find the email address here 
 
 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

TN Awareness

When I was a young girl, I was forever writing to television shows and magazines, normally entering competitions, but never got a reply.

These days, I am forever writing to numerous television shows, newspapers and magazines trying to promote TN awareness.  I still don't get replies. But I will keep writing.

It is so difficult trying to promote something that nobody seems interested in. Even the World Health Organization are not interested in it. However, there is a petition to try to change that. If you haven't heard of the petition, you can sign it here. (It costs no money to sign.) If W.H.O. actually become interested, it could change things.....there could be funding for education, awareness and even research. If you haven't signed it, please do so (even if you don't have TN).

There is so much going on at the moment to do with TN Awareness. There are more and more blogs appearing, so many support and awareness groups on Facebook.

A friend will be doing a Twitter chat about TN with Treatment Diaries on Twitter on the 27th of August at 8pm ET. If you want to read about it, you can check it out here. Being in the UK, I might not manage to watch it live, but hopefully will catch up the following day.

This year, there will be a TN awareness day. For the first time ever.....an International Trigeminal Neuralgia Awareness day on Monday, the 7th of October.

Our own End Trigeminal Neuralgia  awareness page has grown more than we ever thought it would, with just under 2000 followers at the moment. We also have a private support group on facebook which is also growing, and of course, we have our End TN blog and our videos on YouTube  We're on Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest. We are about supporting people, both sufferers and caregivers, creating awareness, and making information files for people. If you haven't looked before, you should check the Notes section on the awareness page.

We pretty much have social media covered. It's mainstream media which we have a problem with.

What is it that decides if a story is worthy enough to make the news, or a national newspaper? How do people get a story on to a TV show, or even a magazine?

Trigeminal Neuralgia is a horrible, cruel condition. The awareness is essential. If you are reading this, and you have any suggestions how we can get awareness to a wider audience, please let us know.






Saturday, August 03, 2013

Smile, and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone?

With thanks to Nikki Samuel for allowing me to share
I saw the this post on Facebook today by a friend, Nikki Samuel. I asked if I could share it here because it inspired this blog post.

The last few months have felt a bit like this for me. It's not lke me to get down for long, but yep, I got down. And I hate myself for feeling like that. One part of me was helping with the End TN campaign, trying to give others support, and smiling.

Yes, smiling.

But behind that smile it was a completely different story. It wasn't something I could just shake off. Ian could see it and worried and did everything in his power to help me. Some days I felt like I was crying.....but only on the inside. I was still normal on the outside.

The pain, I have lived with for most of my life now, so it wasn't that. I'm used to the pain. I'm used to living my life around the pain. But there were other symptoms this year like vertigo and the numbness on my feet and legs which obviously concerned me. There was a big worry to do with benefits this year too - that has definitely played a part in my mood. As well as that, my father-in-law has had two mini strokes recently. My own Dad doesn't keep the best of health. And of course, regular readers of my blog will know about me having lost my niece last year.

Who knows why we go on a downward spiral sometimes. Thankfully, I didn't reach the bottom (not even very far down), but it is certainly easier to go down than it is to climb back up. I am climbing up though.

But seeing Nikki's post this morning really made me think.....none of us ever know what is behind a person's smile. There could be pain, emotional issues, family worries.

Some people may wear their heart on their sleeve. Other people keep theirs well hidden under thick layers.

Neither way is wrong.....but sometimes we should remember that a person's smile could be hiding a whole lot more than we will ever realise.



Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Determination

Every so often something happens in life which pulls you up and gives you determination to keep doing what you have been trying to do. And it makes you try even harder.

A few months ago that happened to me when I met (online) the mother of a teenage boy who has been suffering from Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia since he was about eight years old. I couldn't believe it. I had read that children can suffer, but when you get to know of one, it's a whole other story. Learning about that boy pushed me at that time. It made our awareness campaign even more important.

A similar thing happened just a couple of days ago, when we met a woman (again online) who thinks her daughter possibly has Trigeminal Neuralgia, or something similar. The bigger problem here is that her daughter has cerebal palsy and is unable to talk. Unable to tell where exactly the pain is. Unable to say just how bad it is. However, she has stopped laughing. She is no longer the happy girl she once was. She struggles to eat. It is too painful to even swallow.

The worst part in this story is that this poor woman was getting no help. It was as though doctors were not interested in helping. This girl had no voice to complain about the pain, and it was as if doctors were thinking that was ok.

THAT IS NOT OK.

This girl has as much right to be free from pain as any other person, whether they be a child or an adult.

The poor woman was at her wit's end trying to make people listen to her. But the people who are supposed to be there to help were ignoring her. It is so wrong.

I haven't been able to get that beautiful girl out of my head.

I can only hope that things improve. They have to.

I have seen a video of her laughing three years ago prior to the start of her facial pain. My wish is to see a new video of her laughing again.

Once again, this story makes our awareness campaign so important. And it is pushing me to try harder.  I am determined that our campaign will do something positive for people with TN.

People may get sick of me asking them to share our posters, watch our videos and read our blog, but I will keep asking.

The only way forward is by awareness.

End TN put out a new blog post today. Please, when you get time, take a look, follow it and share it. Please click here to read End TN's blog.


And if you haven't seen our awareness page on Facebook, click here.



Friday, June 14, 2013

It's All About Awareness

I wish I didn't have pain.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

I wish I didn't have to take so many meds every day.

Ohhh......I could make lots of wishes. But there really is no point.

You have to make the best with what you've got. And I do try to do that. Most of the time anyway.

But there are "those days" when I do feel a wee bit sorry for myself. But I'm sure everyone gets those. Thankfully, they don't last for long and I can get back to normal again.  I hear people say that they wished they could feel normal.....but this is normal for me, with all the pain, the tiredness and all the other bits and pieces. It's what I am used to. Of course, I wish I wasn't, but.......

Isn't it sad that for so many people, this is what "normal" is. So many people live with illnesses and conditions day in and day out with no chance of change. And so many people's conditions are invisible to others. Just like Trigeminal Neuralgia.

facebook.com/endTrigeminalNeuralgia
This week's post on our TN Awareness page on Facebook was about the fact that Trigeminal Neuralgia is invisible. However, on a positive note, there are a lot of awareness groups just now, so it may be invisible, but it is certainly not going to be silent any longer. We want everyone to know about TN.

Our own group now has this week started a TN blog. If you haven't already seen it, please take a look and let us know what you think. Here's the link http://endtn.blogspot.co.uk/

So there you go. You came to read my blog and get a link to another one as well.

A special two for one offer for today only!

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Guilt

Something that often comes along with living with chronic pain is guilt.

I always trying to stay positive, trying to do what I can with a smile on my face. I still occasionally get a bit down in the dumps. I will not call it depression, because depression is a lot more serious. Depression is completely different. I get a bit down, just like everyone, but I can also pick myself back up.



However, I do often suffer bouts of guilt. I will add now that nobody makes me feel guilty except myself. But those bouts of guilt are more difficult to deal with.



I had to take early retirement when I was 28, two years after getting married. My pain has always ruled both our lives. But it gradually became worse over the years. Now I do less, my husband does more and I do feel guilty.

I used to be able to push myself more, but now I just don’t have the energy. I also don’t think I am physically capable of pushing myself anyway. I put my feet out of my bed in the mornings (at some late hour normally), and feel as though my feet won’t hold up my body. I struggle with everything. Life is hard. Just living is difficult some days. And yes, I feel guilty that I can’t do what I wish I could.



But it isn’t just that.

 It’s other things.....like not phoning someone, not getting around to answering someone’s email or Facebook message. Not reading blogs or Facebook posts that I would normally read. Or getting tired mid-conversation and losing track. Forgetting things. Getting things wrong. Just generally not being able to keep up.


I used to do things. I baked. I painted. Made cards. Made Jewellery.  I wrote. I even ironed occasionally. Now, I think I have become a zombie. I get up, I eat, I sleep. Maybe take a turn or two on a scrabble game, but that's about the height of it.

Sometimes I hate being me. Being me is tiring. And I feel guilty for being me.

I actually feel guilty for being me!


I could spend my life wishing things were different, but they’re not, and they’re not likely to become different.

Living with constant pain uses a lot of energy. And guilt is what I class as negative energy. We, chronic pain sufferers, can’t allow energy to be wasted on something like guilt. We need every single ounce of it just to get through the day.


So time to get rid of the guilt.

Might be easier said than done though.....



Friday, March 22, 2013

Cherishing Memories

Today would have been my Mum and Dad’s 55th anniversary.
 

In 2008 we celebrated their Golden Wedding, and to be honest, I don’t think it crossed my mind at that point that they wouldn’t be around forever. Sadly, cancer of the kidney took my Mum in December of the following year. 


But on their Golden wedding we had a party, just a small family gathering, and we all had a great day. And that is what I will remember every 22nd of March.

 We had done a fair bit of planning in advance, which wasn’t always easy. I think my Mum and Dad developed radars at that time, which told them when my sister and I were either making plans, or trying to get information or photos without their knowledge.

We managed though.

One of the things we did was make a photo book, called “50 Golden Moments”, in which we listed fifty special memories. Some were happy, some emotional and some were probably just plain silly. But Mum and Dad just loved their book. Mum especially seemed to be on a high for months afterwards. She showed that book to everybody. When she went into hospital the following year when she became ill, she even asked for her book, so she could show the nurses and other patients.


My Mum and Dad had something special between them. Everything they did, they did for each other and the three of us. I consider myself so lucky.


It’s impossible to put a whole fifty years worth of memories into a book, but it is possible to cherish every memory. And that’s what I do now......I cherish every single memory.




Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Dentist visit and TN just don't go

Yesterday I had to do something which I had been dreading. My six monthly dental check-up.


I don’t have a fear of the dentist as some people do, just that I know that the minute she asks me to open wide, is the start of my pain soaring.



I haven’t actually needed any dental treatment for years. So she does a check-up, then a clean. The clean is a nightmare. She is a lovely dentist and tries her hardest not to hurt me, but inevitably she does. She even tells me to put my hand in the air if I need to stop for a break.  My fists clench up, my toes curl, but I try to resist putting my hand in the air. It has to be done, so better just getting it over with.



But yesterday, she told me I needed a filling. An old filling on my BAD side is needing replaced. I think my heart sank when she said those words.



Just from the clean, my face got more and more painful last night. Today, it is even worse. I knew that would be the case....it is always the same. But now I have to go back to get that filling in a few weeks time. It honestly scares the living daylights out of me.



I know it has to be done. If it’s not, it will only make matters worse and end up causing an infection. But, oh, I really wish I could just ignore it.



However, after she had treated me yesterday, she said that my TN is unusual, because most people’s TN just affect the bottom jaw.



This is NOT true. This is why so many people are going undiagnosed for so long. The very people who should know about the subject, don’t.



This is why we need more awareness about Trigeminal Neuralgia. It is bad enough that ‘normal’ people know little or nothing about it, but medical professionals also know so little.



This has to change. We will never advance in the treatment of TN until this change takes place.


No matter where we are from, or what language we speak, I think it is safe to say that we all want the same thing.....an end to Trigeminal Neuralgia.

I can only hope that one day that can happen.



from www.facebook.com/endTrigeminalNeuralgia









Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Good Pain

I often say that sometimes I get "good pain" and people look at me strangely. How can pain ever be good?

Well, I believe it can.

Certain things can cause me to have more pain than usual. Like going out in the cold. Like brushing my teeth. Like eating some foods. Obviously those things don't give good pain. Far from it.

Talking causes pain sometimes. Singing causes pain (not just for me!) And laughing causes pain. Those things cause what I call "good pain" Especially the laughing. I call it good pain because I did enjoy the activity at the time, and I knew at the time that I would end up being more painful, but sometimes the pain is just worth it.
Yesterday we went out visiting the family for the first time this year. One of my nieces is staying with my Dad for a couple of weeks with her little girl. This little girl is four and an absolute bundle of fun. She just doesn't stop. I wish I had a tiny bit of her energy. She had us laughing non-stop and we had such a good day. So I laughed non-stop, and yes, I felt the pain a lot then and a lot today, but it was so worth it. Definitely "good pain".

So if someone ever tells they get good pain, please don't look at them strangely. They've possibly discovered that sometimes pain is worth it.




Friday, January 04, 2013

I am a bit slow off the mark here, but I want to wish all of you a very happy new year. 
 I hope you all managed to enjoy the Christmas and New Year celebrations.

The week between Christmas and New Year, proved to be a crazy one for me. I had to increase my tegretol about three weeks before and fortunately, I had no adverse effects.

Obviously they decided to build up in my system for three weeks and then they hit me. And they really did hit me.


I had been feeling kind of “off” all day. This in itself was nothing unusual. I get days like this often. I call them my “side effect” days. Just a general horrible feeling which I find hard to describe and I put them down to the meds I’m on.

However, I went to bed early, slept on and off, then got up through the night to go to the loo. I felt a bit staggery when I got out of bed....again nothing that unusual. However, the staggering went to full scale balance loss. The place was spinning and I think I bounced off of everything in sight, eventually catching my leg on something which led me to fall into a heap on the floor.


Ian (yet again, poor man!) came running and picked me up and got me into a chair. He had thought that I had done my usual and tripped over something. But when I tried to explain that I was so dizzy, I found my voice had gone strange too.
 

When I did get back to bed, I think I lay their so rigidly, to try to stop the spinning, but I never slept a wink. Nor did Ian. I have to say I didn’t even think about the increase in my meds. I was scared.....I actually thought there was something seriously wrong with me. It was Ian who suggested that it may be a side effect and sure enough, on checking, it is listed there for higher doses. So dose back down, pain back up. Eventually, no more dizziness, but a few bruises to show for it all.



Oh, these meds.....so horrible having to take them. But I don’t know how I’d cope without without them.


Anyway I hope 2013 is better to everyone.